SOME FUNNY MOMENTS IN "SCHOOL"

Back from the long break!! Not much of a break actually rather was slogging too hard at work to have any time to post.

Its been a real hectic week starting from Tuesday and finally came to an end today. There were exams and practicals as usual ... no wonder people call this "school"!! Teachers try to be nasty all for the excuse of simulating real life environment in fields and how bad clients can be and not to mention how uncooperative they can be at times. Here's our instructor's favourite line ....

"I'm not your fa(tf)er, not your mo(tf)er, not your slave, not your assistant ... am only here to facilitate your learni(nf)!!" (read that in a Scottish accent, which makes even the Queen's accent seem better)

Sounds logical? ... imagine when he keeps uttering that when you are in a spot of bother and desperately want some help ... out he comes whistling as if it was the pleasantest day in the year and tells you that!!

When someone told him on his face (at the start of school) that no one could understand fully what he said, thanks to his accent, his retort went like ...
"Thats ok ... almost no one outside Scotland ever did ... but since I'm your instructor, you have just 2 days to try and pick up as much of it as possible!!"

Not sure if he was trying to be funny.

Once I seemed to get the better of him in class, only to realize this guy wasn' t so easy to get by ... pat came the reply -
"I may be ol(df), I may be bal(df), I may wear glasses but I am not fu***ng stupid, Souvik!!"

Once we had been given a lot of work to do by our instructor and one of us was trying to delay the stuff on grounds that all of us were not there at the moment. Of course, he got snubbed. He tried to fight it out a little longer saying that we beleived in team work and that of course we wouldn't like to really do so much work without involving our entire class. The retort was classic - He sniffed the air thrice and ... "That smells like proper bullshit to me, Jaime!!"

Once we were logging (thats the term for what we do) in a truck and there was some problems sending down power to the tools. Of all people to appear at that moment (talk of Murphy's law), in came our instructor ....
"OOOOHHHHH, diiiisaaaaster!!! What shall we doooo?? Who shall we call ... 911??" (again in that Scottish accent)

But the best of all goof-ups ....
There's a guy called Osama K in another school batch, also at our location. Incidentally we all landed in this paranoid place on Sept 11th!! So in comes this guy to immigration and shows his passport. Immediately eyebrows shoot up ... ahem, ahem!!
Imm: "Well Mr. K, I need to ask you a few questions ... What is your purpose of visit?"
Osama: "Training program for SLB"
Imm: "Do you have some proof of the same?"
Osama: "Ya of course - my RADIATION BADGE!!" (dunno why someone would be so crazy)
Imm: "Did I hear you say radiation?"
Osama: "Ya!!"
Imm: "And may I ask why you need that for?"
Osama: "Sure ... we will be trained on radioactive sources and exploisves as a part of the curriculum!!"
Imm: "Could you please step this way please ... we need to have a little chat!!"
The poor guy spent almost 7 hours after this clearing immigration!! Not sure he enjoyed it!!


Disclaimer - This is purely written in a sense of humour ... with all the pressure, I really appreciate our tutor's sense of humour ... life would have so much more bland without it!!